‘She knows how ironic this is, she might as well smoke, why not? But cigarettes, while damaging, are pleasurable too, and besides, Nicotine, that takes years before it hurts.’ – Willow
That pretty much describes my life about two weeks ago. I never thought about it like that before, nor could I explain it. I tried a cigarette about two weeks ago. It wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t good either, but not that bad, which should have scared me, but it didn’t. The only reason why I haven’t done it again is because Laura. Laura told me it was bad, and dumb, which it probably is, but at the time I felt like it was the best thing, something that would make me feel better, especially then. It should have scared me but it didn’t, I should have been afraid of the consequences but I wasn’t, and that should have scared me. I should have ran the other direction, not given into the impulse. Every one probably has those impulses. They are defiantly less than they were, but every once and a while I feel like I should just have one, but then I remember Laura, and I remember that it won’t be worth it, just a quick fix, and Laura even said that isn’t true, so I listen. Just one, that is all I wanted, just one. However, like she said, Nicotine takes years before it hurts, and sometimes, I need it now.
